Reflections on Anger

I heard someone say that anger is not accepting what is.  When we don't accept what is, we usually fight what is.  We try to change it which adds to our frustrations, for how often are we successful?  Perhaps we are successful temporarily.  Perhaps we have created the illusion of success.  In the end, we tend to find ourselves back where we started, angry and frustrated over the same situation.

When we fight what is, we are exerting our will over things we have no power over.  We may even plead with God to change the situation or the person into how we wish it to be.  This sounds to me like what is described in the stages of grieving as related to the death of a loved one. Perhaps this definition is too narrow.  Perhaps we ought to look at angry people as grieving people. Perhaps we can look at ourselves in the midst of our anger as a person struggling to come to accept the reality of the situation, coming to accept what is, and our powerlessness to change it into what we would have it be. 

In our disappointment, sadness is appropriate. Ultimately the purpose of anger is self protection, but when it protects us from the reality of our grief, it keeps us from accepting ourselves.