Reflections on self-respect

When I am hurt, it is because I am not accepting the other person for who they are.  I want them to be how I want them to be cause if they were, they certainly wouldn't have done or said what they did.  I set myself up by expecting others to be a certain way.  Then they act as they will, according to exactly who they are, and I am somehow offended by this.  

Truly, nothing someone else does is about me.  People do things.  They do not do things to me.  What people do is an expression of who they are.  Their actions say nothing about me, about my value or about my worthiness.  If someone does not appreciate me, it does not mean that I am unworthy of being appreciated.  If someone is not considerate of me, it speaks nothing of my being deserving of consideration.  If someone is not interested in me, it does not mean that I am uninteresting.  So why should I place such importance on their opinion of me?

Instead of thinking, Why don't they value me?  I can think, Hmm.  They under value me.  Instead of, How could they be so inconsiderate of me?  I can think, They aren't capable of treating me with the consideration I deserve.  Instead of being hurt, I can be grateful for the information that their behavior provides.  It allows me the opportunity to make a more informed choice and to demonstrate self-respect.  I show this by how and with whom I choose to spend my time and energy.  We value what we give our attention.  Perhaps I could benefit by being more thoughtful about where I place my attention.