reflections on relationships

In a romantic relationship each partner has needs.  The difficulty comes when our partner can't meet our needs.  Letting go is hard. We recall all of the good things about the relationship and yet we cannot deny what is lacking. That is not to say that we should expect our partners to be everything we want them to be.  It is to say that those qualities we must have, must be present. All other desires are optional. 

In our heads we argue, stating all the things that are good and shouldn't that be enough?  This part of us does not want to let go.  This part of us wants this to be enough.  This part of us wants to live in denial.  This part of us does not want to be alone.  This part of us would rather accept less than what we deserve, would rather live wanting than to live alone. 

Paradoxically to stay in this type of relationship we live feeling more alone than we feel living single.  So why do we stay?  In this type of relationship we can focus on the shortcomings of the other.  Living single, we have only our own shortcomings to look at.  Perhaps this is the real reason why we hold desperately on to these lonely relationships.  We don't want to face ourselves.