On pain

During my morning meditation, I kept getting this cramp in the arch of my right foot, a painful cramp which pulled my foot downward in a pointed position. I tried flexing my foot to release the tension and the pain. This provided only moderate relief. I placed pressure to the area where the muscle was contracting with my thumbs.  This too provided only moderate relief.

Then a thought came. It was the same suggestion that my tattoo artist had given me.  "Don't fight it. Go into the pain."  So I did.  I relaxed into it. I accepted it. I observed it. I felt the pain's warmth spreading outward,  moving from a central point upward and downward along the length of the muscle. Soon enough the contraction let up and so did the pain.

I saw this as a metaphor for emotional pain. To what length do we go to relieve emotional discomfort?  We deny it. We avoid looking at it. We avoid feeling it. We try to convince ourselves why we shouldn't feel the way we do. It was a reminder to me that to love and accept myself, I must honor my feelings, my pain, my disappointment, by observing them without judgement, by not trying to change them or fix them or squash them into a box. I honor myself by letting them be what they are. With quiet awareness I give them the space to be what they are, no more and no less and in doing so I am giving them the freedom to pass as they will naturally on their own. 

Emotions are like molecules of gas. By trying to contain them, forcing them into a box to hide away like an unwrapped Christmas present , they become combustible. But when allowed the freedom of space, they will disperse naturally into the ether.

Today I will observe my feelings as they arise and give them the space they need to float away.